From Passion to Fury
by Heel Princess
Summary: Sequel to In a Fit of Passion. no need to read the first but it would help... Lita returns one year after her retirement for the aniversary and refinds the magic of pro wrestling,and something else she left behind. Lita/cena/kinda Randy.
1. Chapter 1

**So i finally got around to making this sequel to in a fit of passion after months and months of talking about it. on a isde note my en name was chnaged for rivacy issues. Hope you enjoy and review as always xo. if your confused why not give the first one a read or even a re-read thanks guys!

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**I smiled from ear to ear as I made my way back through gorilla. I had so much fun out there; fun I forgot I could have in a wrestling ring. My time in the business was tarnished by my experience with Edge and I didn't even remember the rush that I could get from the crowd. Trish and I had the time of our lives out there taking it to Jillian. I could never thank her enough for her efforts to make them remember (the fans being them) what I used to be. Hugging her and holding her hand high was a dream I'd had since her last match, once again we could be seen as friends and not mortal enemies.

I had so much fun in fact that I didn't take a second glance at that paper before I signed it. J.R. told me it was all taken care of, the legal department went over it and my previous contract stipulations were null and void.

I felt arms around me once again and I smiled once more when I realised it was Trish again. I hugged her back squeezing so hard her face pushed up against mine in an awkward shape.

"I really missed you…" I said to her.

"I know someone else who missed you…" She replied.

I didn't know if I should smile or cry. I hadn't even thought about having to face him again when I agreed to come back. He would want so many answers and would he even believe what I told him?

"I don't know Trisha…"

"Go to him." She said releasing her kung fu grip on me.

I kissed her on the cheek and made my way down the hallway to find him. The corridors of the arena seemed familiar yet different if that made any sense.

"Could you direct me to John Cena's locker room?" I asked tapping a tall man on the shoulders.

"I'm not the help…" The man said turning around to face me. He smiled when he saw me. "Lita." He gasped.

"Randy? Oh my god I didn't even recognize you from back on. New hair cut?"

"That's the way my lady likes it." He responded.

I grabbed him and hugged him tight. Rated RKO was a bright spot in my dark years with Edge.

"I missed you too." He said letting me go.

"So where's John?" I asked perking up at the sound his name.

"I don't know if you want to see him right now…" Randy said looking around and taking my hand.

"Of course I do."

"Let me tell him your coming first…" Randy suggested moving in front of me.

"Don't be silly." I said moving him aside. "If your not going to help me I'll find him I'll do it myself.

Jesus. Randy was acting weird. I rounded the next corridor and moved straight till I found the first string of locker rooms. I read each sign as I walked by slowly thinking about what I would say once I actually did find him. I wasn't having much luck until I saw him coming out of the room at the end of the hallway.

"John!" I yelled unable to contain my happiness. The sight of him this close to me without the glow of the television screen between us was more then I could take.

He turned instantly recognizing the sound of my voice. "Lita?" He said almost like he didn't believe it was really me. His eyes met mine and I couldn't help but light up like I did in high school at the sight of Kevin Seconds.

I moved closer to him and stood back afraid that if I got any closer he would vanish like some mirage.

He looked at me just staring for the longest time. "What are you doing here?" He asked finally speaking.

"I came back for the anniversary and its been a year and missed this so I'm…I'm…I'm back." I finally spite out.

"I read you had I band…"

"I do. And the company is going to help with some publicity…it isn't what I wanted but now they can travel with us and I can have both."

"Why didn't you call me and say that you were coming back…I missed you so much, you never called me, not once."

"I wanted to…I really wanted to." I said taking his hand. "I just couldn't. There is so much that you don't know, that I need to tell you…"

I stopped mid sentence when I saw her…Candice Michelle making her way out of the locker room. "Baby who are you talking to?" She asked standing beside him and running a hand up his shoulder.

He didn't even address her he simply looked at me. "You were gone so long and I…"

"Needed someone to keep your be warm I get it John. You need someone to heat you up because you really are Ice…just like I used to call you. Because obviously your heart is made of it." I said brushing past him slamming into his shoulder and her hand as I went.

My day had gone from heaven to hell in mer seconds. And worse I couldn't go back now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Shirt but hey its an update! Review please! on a side note i wrote my first femslash tofay but i dont know if im goign to post it, its alittle lets say graphic? should i post it? let me know**

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Maybe I was over reacting, I mean I couldn't expect him to wait around forever could I? We all know the answer to that question.

You know just as well as I do that I fully expected him to wait around for me. And now that that isn't the case, I'm crushed. A girl can dream can't she?

I pulled myself up off the concrete floor and dusted off my jeans. Get yourself together Lita, your not supposed to hurt like this. You left him remember? I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall. I did remember, I remembered every second of my time with John right up until I had to walk away. I told myself I had moved on, but if that was true then why does this hurt so much…

"So I guess you saw her then?" Randy asked as he leaned against the wall beside me.

"Yup." I replied, trying my best to hold in the tears as I swallowed hard.

"I didn't want to tell you…" He said. "It wasn't really my place."

I turned my head to look him in his big brown eyes. "I understand, I'm your friend but so is he. I probably wouldn't have believed you anyway…and if I did I never would have come back. I especially wouldn't have signed this new deal, and now I'm stuck."

"But look at it this way, you can show him what he's missing."

"Ya that's going to work when I'm totally miserable."

"Cheer up." Randy said patting my shoulder. "I mean, things can only get better."

"Ya I guess your right."

"I am trust me, but I got to jet my match is next, wish me luck?"

"Good luck Randy." I replied half-heartedly. 

He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into him kissing me on the cheek before he hurried off. Maybe he was right, I mean things couldn't get any worse right now.

"Lita hold up!" John shouted running towards me.

I stand corrected.

"Go away John, I don't want to see you." I turned my back to him and stared blankly at the wall.

"Lits don't be like this…"

"Be like what John? Upset? I think I'm aloud to feel whatever the hell I want to."

"Lita, I mean when you drove off that day I didn't think I'd ever see your gorgeous face again." He said as he reached out to stroke my cheek. I pulled away from him quickly.

"Don't push me away." He begged placing his hands on my hips and pulling me into him. I didn't resist this time I just stood there as he tried his best to hold me.

"Baby where'd you go?" I heard a nasally voice call from down the hallway.

"Oh look your skank is calling you, you better go." I said coldly.

"Lita, we need to sit down and talk."

"Ya ok, call me when that walking std isn't hanging around." 

And on that note I continued my walk of shame down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow the first update i've made on either of my storys in quite a while. sorry guys, so busy it seems all my mind has time for is one shots. im in my schools production of grease and i just finished at tapout100 challange of steph mcmahon on livejournal. hopefull after the 12 things will calm down and i can concintrate on my writing again. thanks for your patience review and enjoy!**

It had been a week and I hadn't seen John or his little tramp, hell I hadn't even seen the outside of this hotel room.

A knock on the door startled me, and the next thing I knew I was lying flat on my back on the floor.

"Go away!" I yelled. I didn't want to see anybody and now with pain throbbing up my back and my neck I definitely didn't want to.

"It's me Randy! Open up!" He said pounding on the wooden doorframe.

"No."

"I've got snacks!" He hollered.

I sat upright and pulled my knees to my chest for a moment as I thought. Seconds later I was at the door face to face with a grinning Orton.

"I knew you'd let me in."

"I did it for the food, don't feel privileged."

"I know you love me." He said pushing past me. "And I think you know it to."

I rolled my eyes as I watched him plop down on the sofa and grab the remote. I sat beside him in the dim glow of the television set and reached for some of the chocolaty treasure.

"Mmmm snickers." I said taking a huge bite of the nutty bar.

"You're a dork you know that right?

I laughed and chewed up what was in my mouth. "You love me." I said laughing, my mouth still bulging with candy.

"Lita?" He said.

"Ya?"

"We really need to talk about this you know."

"Yess mother."

"No I'm serious," Randy said looking at me. "I know your hurting and you can't keep all this bottled up."

"What is there to say? I loved a guy and he broke my heart. Same shit different day." I said before turning my attention back to the idiot box.

Randy grabbed the remote and flicked off the set. "Ever stop to think that you broke his…"

"That was different, he doesn't understand why I had to leave…"

"Well make him understand." Randy commented.

"I was about to when she walked out the door."

"Lita, you know it had to be hard for him. He loved you and he though you loved him and you just walked away."

"I do love him, I mean I did. And then I come back and he's with her! He must have loved me a lot alright, he loved me so much that he woke up in bed with some chick."

"Nobody understands why you left, and that really destroyed him. I mean I know that Edge was bad; he broke up rated RKO because he thought I was looking at you. But even his cruelty doesn't explain why you couldn't tell us why you left."

I looked Randy dead in the eyes. "I DID IT FOR HIM OK! I DID IT ALL FOR JOHN! I knew that things would be better for everyone if I just left, I never thought I'd be able to come back but here we are…"

At that moment I broke in two, every tear that I had been holding in for the past week came rushing out like the river Nile. I collapsed onto Randy's chest as I sobbed and he comforted me.

"I just gave up everything I knew for him Randy and now this, it stings it fucking stings."

"Shhhh I know." He said holding my face to his chest. He gently stroked my hair as I fell asleep. "It's going to be ok."


	4. Chapter 4

**alittle update review please**

I woke up groggy and stuck to the sofa, drool dried onto my chin. Looking around I quickly realised I was on my sofa, not my bed and I was still in last nights clothes. It was then that I remembered why I was out here, I had been hanging out with Randy. I sat up and scoped out for Randy when I didn't see him right away I got up to find him. It wasn't long until I spotted him pacing back and forth in my kitchen; I was about to speak up when I noticed that he was talking to someone on his cell phone. If I hadn't of heard my name I would have spoken up, but once I heard my name in the conversation I hid behind the doorframe to hear exactly what he was saying and who exactly he was talking to.

"Sam, I can't just come home right now. She's a friend she needs me….of course there's nothing going on. You'd understand if you saw her…Sam I'm sure whatever it is that we need to talk about can wait another week…no I'm not being inconsiderate, for once I AM being considerate…Well if that's the way you feel…"

And with that Randy slammed his cell shut and slammed his head against the cabinet.

"Morning." I said as I walked in a moment later, pretending I heard nothing. I didn't go with the formality of good morning because I for one didn't see what was so good about it.

"Hey." He said bringing his head up off where it was resting to look at me. "Your up."

"Ya, what time is it anyway?" I asked grabbing a coffee cup and sticking it under the coffee maker nest to him.

"A little after 12."

"Wow I slept in." I said rubbing my eyes.

"You needed it." He spoke.

I wasn't going to say anything but I had to; I just couldn't leave it alone.

"I heard you talking to Sam." I said.

"Oh." He said blankly. "I was hoping you missed all that."

I smiled weakly at him. "Maybe you should head on home, I'll be ok."

"Lits I appreciate you saying that, but I couldn't leave you, not like this." He said placing his large hand on my shoulder. "You and Cena are the best friends I have and Sam just has to realise that that ring doesn't make her the only person in my life."

"But she's your wife…"

"And I love her, but you guys have been my friends for years and I'm not just going to turn my back on you."

I smiled again and gave him a little hug. "Thanks Rans."

"Your welcome. Now lets get this whole thing settled so I can get home to her that much sooner."

"Randy, I really don't think that John is going to be a part of my life anymore, as a matter of fact I don't think I want him to be. This all hurts to bad."

He gave me a look. A look that without any words reiterated everything he had previously said to me before he grabbed my hand and we started off down the hotel hallway.

We came to a halt in front of hotel room number twenty-three. Randy knocked twice and pulled me back to wait with him.

"Randy stop, I know she's in there."

Before I had a chance to get away the door swung open. Low and behold it was not the tramp but actually John standing there in his skivvies. I had to stop my jaw from dropping because I had almost forgot what was underneath all the clothes. And the moment I saw him like that again I had instant memories of the time we had spent together.

His eyes met mine and he so obviously knew what it was that I was so desperately thinking about and a small smirk formed on his lips. "Like what you see?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and flung my head to the side to stare at the blank cream walls. Randy was the one to break the awkwardness.

"Listen you guys, this isn't good for anyone and whether or not you belong together is up for debate but you have to sit down and talk this through." He looked at both of us. "Agreed?"

I looked at Randy who looked at John who then turned his focus to me. His deep blue eyes that could pierce through a soul were staring straight at me. "Agreed." He said.

"Fine agreed." I grumbled.

"Then it's settled." Randy said. "Pick her up tomorrow night at 8, you have dinner reservations."

I shot Randy a look, but it was useless he had planned this all along.

"Where something nice you two." Randy said and walked away.

I looked at John who winked at me. I walked over to him and stomped his foot as hard as I possibly could and stormed off enraged with what had just taken place.


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoying this story right now, stay tuned for a major twist next chapter bigger than this one lol. review please.**

John pov

Dinner was going surprisingly well considering she had yet to throw anything at me. I looked across the table and watched her nervously sip champagne.

"How's your food?" I asked her.

"Good." She said bluntly.

"That's good…listen Lits I'm really happy you agreed to come out with me tonight."

"Mmhmm. I'm surprised you got away." She said in a snotty tone.

It really wasn't funny but I had to try hard not to laugh as I thought back to the conversation I had had with Randy after she left yesterday.

"_So how do you plan on keeping Candice out of the picture long enough for me to take her out?" I asked Randy, still jumbled over what had just taken place._

"_You leave that to me." He said._

I smiled thinking of Randy holding the door to the hotel bathroom shut when I left, Candice locked inside pounding on the door to let her out.

"What's so funny?" Lita asked pulling me from my thoughts.

"I was just thinking about how hard it actually was to get to this point." I told her.

"I see."

"But can we just talk for a second though please?"

She laid her glass down and looked at me. "Talk away."

"I really never meant for any of this to turn out like this, if I had of known I never would have…well you know. You meant everything to me and then you just walked away."

I scanned her for any sign of a response and I think I actually saw a tear in her eye, a glimpse of everything we shared together.

"I wanted nothing more then to be with you John, I loved you…that's why I left. I know you don't understand that but it's true. But one thing different between you and I, I never even looked at another man the whole time I was gone. I prayed to god every day that I would see you again, I wasn't so quick to replace you like you were."

"If I could change everything I would."

"But you can't." She said motioning the waiter. "Check please!"

Randy pov.

I glanced down at my cell phone that was vibrating in my hand; it was a text from John.

She's pissed and leaving-John.

Great just great, if I wanted my life to go back to normal anytime soon I had to make this work out. I texted him back with phase two of my plan, getting them alone.

I set my phone down and went to check on Candice. I opened the bathroom door and she was gone, the window was open and the curtains were flapping in the wind.

Oh shit.

Lita pov

We were on the way home when I got a text from Randy asking me if I could get his ipod at Johns. He had left it there last night and he needed it for his work out in the morning, his work out this morning was off without it.

I wasn't thrilled about it, but Randy had been so good to me. I could do this one thing for him. I had some ideas about it being a set up but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind in order to do a favour for a friend.

If you'd told me three months ago that I'd be standing here in John Cena's apartment clinging to a picture of us I'd found on his mantle I would have sent you for some serious help and probly slapped the taste out of your mouth too. But its true and the dust on my fingertips prove it.

I smile through the tears that are forming realising she must not have been here or why would he leave a photo of us lying around like that?

Staring at the picture frame I was searching for some sign of how I could possibly be that happy again. I was never in my life as happy as I was when I was with him.

That day was fresh in my memory I remember that day on the beach vividly, the exact moment he snapped that picture with his cell phone. His arms were around my face and he was smiling against my neck and I had never seemed to smile that big before.

I heard him trogging back down the stairs and I placed it back on the fireplace, pretending like I had just experienced everything I'd felt.

"You can tell Randy its not here." He said.

And at that split second all my suspicions came true, this was a total set up.

"I see." I said. "Listen I know that this was a ploy to get us alone."

"And you came anyway?" He asked moving closer to me.

"I was hoping I was wrong…And I was hoping that I wouldn't have these feelings, I wish I'd never seen that picture. I said pointing to the picture frame.

"Oh you saw that." He said. "I can't let that one go."

He smiled and closed the gap between us touching my arm. "I miss you." He whispered.

I froze and didn't budge a millimetre as he leaned in and kissed me. It was nice and I didn't push him off, instead I deepened it and wrapped my arms around his neck. And that was the exact second she came flying through the doorway.

"John! How the fuck could you let Randy lock me into that bathroom!" She screamed.

So that was how they kept her at bay this long.

"I'm your god damn fiancé!" Candice yelled hurling her ring at him.

"Fiancé?" I questioned backing away from him.

"I was going to tell you but…"

"But nothing." I said. "Save your shit for your own personal toilet bowl over there. You can put whatever you want inside her, but don't throw your crap at me!"

Tears streaming down my face again I ran from the house. Never had I cried so much over somebody else before. Never had I felt the things I felt for him for any one else. How can you love and hate someone so much at the same time?


	6. Chapter 6

**TWIST! review please, chapter 7 is done to so the more reviews the faster that goes up.**

Randy pov

It seemed I found myself screaming into this cell phone a lot lately. "No Sam I cant come home yet…please just understand that this is just something I need to do, for me. How am I ruining my own relationship? Your unbelievable you know that…I'm sure your news is soooooo important. What do you mean you might need some space? Well if that's how you feel fine I'm done." And with that I hung up my cell phone.

My cell phone had just hit the table when she came bursting in, tears staining her pretty face.

"What's the matter?" I asked as she collapsed on the couch next to me burying her face in my chest.

"Their engaged Randy, they're going to get married. I can't believe I ever felt anything for that man."

"There there." I said taking her small face in my hands. "It's going to be ok."

I looked in her eyes and all I could see was that they were flooded with hurt, hurt that was streaming down her face and radiating from her soul. He hurt her and hurt her bad, no matter how many chances this guy seems to get he always manages to make her cry.

She looked back at me and just cried, I did the only thing I ever knew how to do to comfort a woman and pushed her lips to mine. At first she seemed frozen but with in moments she was kissing me back searching for in me something she couldn't find in Cena.

"What are we doing?" She asked.

"Comforting each other." I said without a moment's hesitation.

That's all it took no more questions before she moved her mouth to mine hungrily. We were both hurting and need to find that solace in each other.

I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, gently laid her down on the king sized bed. I peeled my shirt down over my shoulders and threw it into the corner before I climbed on top of her removing her own shirt from over her head.

She moaned and threw her head back as I kissed up her chest to her neck. "Your beautiful" I whispered in her ear. She smiled for the first time in a long time and moved her hands to my belt fiddling with it until she had removed the clasp and undid my pants to reveal my boxers.

I stopped her hands there and slid my hand down her side to her thigh as I pulled her dress pants down and tossed them in the pile that was forming on the bedroom floor.

"I want you." I said kissing her again.

She moaned and finished taking off my jeans added them to the heap of clothing. I stopped momentarily and looked at her, the gorgeous sight beneath me before I took the next step in the process removing her underwear. I did this slowly and she whined urging me onward.

"Please." She whimpered.

I entered her slowly moving only slightly allowing her time to adjust, I could tell it had been awhile. When I assumed she was ready I steadied my past rocking her gently then faster.

"Randy…" She moaned.

It wasn't long until she climaxed and I followed, plopping down next to her. I curled into her small frame and kissed her cheek before she fell asleep in my arm gently sobbing again.

I wasn't sure if I had hurt her, if she felt she had betrayed Cena or what was the matter but I didn't want to see her cry anymore.

"If you think you betrayed him you didn't, you don't deserve how he's been treating you."

"Its not that."

"Did I hurt you, if I did I'm sorry."

"Quite the opposite actually, you were wonderful but what about…"

"About?" I questioned.

"Your wife." She finished.

"Oh. Well I don't think I have a wife anymore."

She just sat in silence.

"So lets forget about all of that and just enjoy the comfort we've found in each other." She nodded and moved closer to me wrapping her arms around my torso before she fell asleep in my arms.

But in a way she was right, I wasn't divorced and I had just cheated on my wife. But I was in the moment I was mad and hurting, I wasn't sure what would happen but right now it felt good to be lying next to her.


	7. Chapter 7

**let me know what you think? reviews equal updates didnt get many for the last chapter :( hope you guys ares still liking this story. so please review**

John pov.

I paced nervously outside of Randy's apartment, where I knew she would most likely be staying after our blow up last night. What was going to say to her? How the fuck could I fix what I'd fucked up so bad? I really didn't think that things could get this horrible but here we are and it aint rainbows and sunshine.

Well here goes nothing I thought as I knocked on the door. She answered quickly, wrapped up in a blanket. She looked good even though I knew that she wasn't feeling it.

"Hi." I said.

"What do you want?" She shot back quickly, folding her arms across her chest in protest to me being here right now.

"I came to apologize." I told her.

She just looked down at her feet unable to look me in the eye.

"You can't even look at me?" I asked her.

She didn't move.

"Listen, the whole Candice thing. I just wanted a family I mean I'm not getting any younger…"

"But you know I don't want that John, I don't want a ring, I don't want children. I'm happy being who I am and living my life for me."

" That's my point, I realised that no matter how much I want those things I love you more. Bottom line is, I sent Candice home, I told her that the engagement was off."

"Oh." She said.

Nothing could prepare me for what I saw next. "Randy?" I questioned as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waste.

Randy ignored me and turned his attention to her. "Lita are you coming back to bed?"

She shrugged him off obviously uncomfortable with what was taking place.

"Un-fucking-believable." I shouted. "I love how you give me shit about Candice and here you are fucking Randy, my god damn best friend, a married man for Christ sakes!"

"John…"

"I really thought I knew you but I so obviously didn't, another woman's husband? Low real low." I yelled.

Lita pov

When John left I instantly felt like shit, what had I done. He was right I wasn't acting like my self and Randy was a married man.

The first thing I saw when I went back inside was a picture of them on there wedding day, if possible I felt worse.

"Randy what have…"

"Shhhh." He said hugging me. "Everything is ok."

We sat on the couch and out of pure routine Randy hit play on the answering machine.

"_Randy it's me Sam, listen I just wanted to apologize for last night. We both said some things we didn't mean and I just wanted to say I'm sorry before we both do anything we regret…anyway give me a call, I love you…"_

I just started to cry even harder.

"It looks like we both have a lot of explaining to do." Randy said rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I've ruined your marriage.

"This isn't your fault, I started this mess and I'm going to fix it." He told me. "And just so you know just because this was a mistake that doesn't mean I don't care about you, you're my best friend."

"I guess I better find some place else to stay."

"No you'll stay here, I've gotta work this out but I'm not loosing you either." He kissed my forehead. "I better go call John." Randy said pushing him self up off the sofa using my knee for leverage.

Randy pov.

"John it's me Randy…" I said into the black phone. "Don't hang up, I have a lot of explaining to do."

I was thrilled that John agreed to meet up with me; I secretly hoped it wasn't just to kick my ass. Now only time would tell if only Sam would understand.

"Samantha, it's me…It's good to hear your voice to." I said breaking down. "We really do need to talk, I'll be home soon. I love you…" I told her hanging up the phone with tears in my eyes.

Lita pov.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Randy walked back into the room with a suitcase in hand.

"Listen Lits I gotta go home to Missouri and fix this, I'm going to go meet with John then talk to Vince about giving me a little time off and putting the title on him. I'll call you when I can ok?"

"Ok." I said and watched him walk out the front door. Alone again I wasn't exactly sure what my life had become. I was always the independent woman and now with as twisted as this was getting I found myself depending on everyone but myself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Review please :)**

I pulled my head out from under the pillow for a moment before I actually recognised the sound that I was hearing. Somebody was knocking on the apartment door, but it didn't matter I sure as hell wasn't getting up to answer it.

Pushing my head back under the cushion I prayed to god that they would just leave, take the hint and go. Who the fuck had the gall to knock on my door at this hour? What time was it anyway? I titled my head as far over the side of the bed as I could to read the analog clock that was blinking 8 PM.

I didn't want to move, I had been in this house for seven days. I didn't get up, I didn't go to work, I didn't shower, I barley slept and I barley ate anything either. I just sat there, sat there and searched for what I had to do next and figure out exactly who I had become. And now that I had finally fallen asleep I wasn't to thrilled to be awaken by the mystery knocker.

The knocking seemed to be getting louder, face it Lita they're not going away. "Hold your horses I'm fucking coming!" I swung one leg out of the bed and then the other before both feet hit the ground and I made my way to the front door.

Looking through the peephole I can't really make out the figure on the other side probably due to the insane amount of sleep in my eyes right now. I pull back the lock hoping that there wasn't some mass murderer on the other side of the door, or worse Randy's wife. I could only assume he had told her by now and once that little gem got out all hell was going to break loose.

But I was safe it was only Trisha and she just walked on in and threw her arms around me. "Well hello to you too." I said to her.

She moved to the sofa and crossed her legs, tucking a stray hair behind her ear before she gave me the once over. "Randy was right, you did need me."

"Excuse me?"

"Girl I love you but you look like one of those orphans on TV."

I threw my arms up in the air in protest. "Wait a sec, rewind, Randy called you?"

"Yup!" She said cheerily. "He told me everything and don't worry I'm not here to judge you I'm here for you."

"Thank you." I said as she threw her arms around me again. I couldn't hold it in any longer as I began to sob uncontrollably something I'd been doing for days now. I enjoyed having some one to lean on.

"Just let it all out. We can fix this, we really can."

"There's only one person who can fix all this." I told her. "And he doesn't want anything to do with me."

She rubbed my back before she broke our embrace. "Ok I can't stand it any longer you smell like the inside of a gym sock. Go get clean up, shower, change and make up, we're going out."

"Trish I don't want to go…"

"To bad." Trish said cutting me off. "Cause we're going anyway."

I knew I couldn't protest anymore because she'd just strip me and throw me in the shower herself. So I slowly made my way to the bathroom to start the refreshing process.

I am a fish in an ocean full of sharks. Sitting here sipping my jack and coke I was definitely regretting my choice to answer the door this morning, I kinda wish now that it was Jeffery Domer instead of Trish and her make up case.

She followed me into the bathroom in an attempt to stop me from removing the caked on foundation. "It's not me." I said explaining to the reflection of Trish behind me in the mirror. Relief was the word when I got everything off except for the little bit of eyeliner that seemed to sufficiently suit me.

"Fine fine but I can't watch all my hard work literally go down the drain, so I'm going to get another drink. I'll see you out there." She says and leaves the little girls room.

Five minutes later I'm back in the club scene and just when I think things couldn't get any worse then dancing to this hip hop garbage I see him. John.

"Oh my god Trish he's here." I said in the loudest of whispers.

"Who?" She yells back obviously more than a little buzzed.

"You know who…"

"Cena? Really." Trish asks. I nod and she starts to look for him obviously spotting him I watch worry move over her face. "He's coming this way"

He makes his way over and I try to look the other way but it was to late he had spotted me. 'Oh shit' I mouthed.

"Well well what do we have here?" He asked. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I could hear the drunken slur in his voice, it was a side of him I'd never seen and a side I didn't want to either.

John pov

"Looking for some one knew to fill the empty spot in your bed tonight?" I asked her. I was waiting for a smart come back but instead all I got was the palm of her hand across my face before she stormed off.

"You better be thankful I don't smack you." Trish said walking up to me. "Because boy you deserve it. You're crazy, that girl made a mistake just like somebody else I know. You better get your mind right."

I watched her walk away to chasing after Lita. She was right how could I not forgive her for what she did when all I really wanted was for her to forgive me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9...Reviews please? :) Pretty Please?**

Nothing says good morning like a good old fashioned hang over. I pulled my body up from the rock hard mattress, what exactly had I done last night? I reached into the drawer beside my bed to pull out the awaiting aspirin. Moving the bottle into my hand I touched a picture, a picture of a certain someone and all the memories of last night came flooding back.

Another tear rolled down my cheek from the endless supply I seemed to have lately.

"Lita." I heard John's voice yell. I was so delusional that I was hearing him call out to me. Get yourself together Lita that part of your life is over. No matter how much you I don't want it to be…I thought as I trailed my finger over his glossy face.

"Lita are you in there, I really need to talk to you."

I shook my head twice before I moved to the front door and it was apparent that I wasn't crazy. He was actually out there, as much as I was in love with him I didn't want to open the door. I could do without him yelling at me some more.

"I get it, I'm a slut and you hate me. You don't have to tell me anymore John, I heard enough last night."

"I'm sorry about all that, just open up ok?"

Maybe I was going crazy because I thought for sure I just heard John say he was sorry. Taking my chances I pulled back the chain lock and then the deadbolt to let him inside. He didn't speak right away he just rushed to my side and pulled me into his embrace.

"I'm stupid, I'm sorry, I love you." He whispered into my ear. "Candice never meant anything to me, nobody could ever change what I feel for you. I forgive you…Can you please forgive me…for everything."

It was hard to stay mad with his hot breath in my ear and his lips pressed to my neck, I pulled back and nodded I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, forever. John moved his lips to my partied ones and kissed me, like I'd only dreamed about. I'd almost forgotten how it felt to touch him and be with him like this.

I threw my hands around his neck and pulled him as close to me as possible. I didn't want to let him go; apart of me afraid that he would just disappear, vanish in thin air. He moved his big hands to my neck and pushed back all my hair to kiss me as intensely as I'd ever been kissed.

"I love you." He said.

I smiled against his lips and repeated his words. "I love you too."

He took my hand and led me into my small apartment bedroom. This was it, the thing I'd been dreaming about since I'd left him all those months ago…months that felt like years as he touched me, his hand running up my thigh.

I moaned at his simple touch, unable to contain the fact that couldn't wait to be with him again. I reached out and unbuckled his belt before I tore it off smiling into his kiss.

"Slow down." He said.

"I missed you." I told him pulling his jeans down over his toned legs.

"I noticed."

John shifted his weight on the mattress and moved on top of me; looking up at him I'd never been as happy as I was in that moment. Back in the arms of the one I loved.

The phone began to ring loudly next to us. "Leave it." John says momentarily breaking his lips away from mine.

"What if it's Vince?" I question.

"The machine will get it…" He tells me before shoving his face back to me, I hungrily accept and continue to let the phone ring.

He trails his rough hand up my inner thigh and removes the tiny boxers I had been sleeping in. I arched my back in anticipation as his course hands began to gently stroke my woman hood before he plunged a finger into my core.

"John…" I moaned cut off by my answering machine.

"Lits its Randy, listen how are things going? Sorry I haven't called but it was to weird ya know and I don't think that…"

Randy's muffled voice was silenced by Johns fist connecting with the little box. "Much better." He said.

"Perfect." I told him raising my hand up over his back and pulled the t-shirt over his head. The site before me was amazing, stroking his naked back I couldn't wait for him to be inside me.

He kissed a path of destruction up my stomach over my shoulders up my neck to my face and then pulled my tank top down over my shoulders before he threw it against the nearest wall.

I couldn't wait any longer and I let him know when I pull his boxers over his butt to his feet to meet my shirt on the floor. Guiding him into me I buck and arched my back against the bed to try and contain myself. I hadn't experienced such sheer bliss in my whole life.

"Mmmm." I moaned, running my hands up over his back again. Gripping his shoulders I felt as if we were made to fit each other perfectly just like two puzzle pieces. Even when I was with Randy I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that it felt the same but it didn't.

John pinned my arms up over my head and continued to move with me, my long legs wrapped around his waist. I clawed and racked at the sheets under me before I couldn't handle it anymore and cried out his name. He wasn't far behind and finished before he rolled over next to my still shaking body. I ran my hand up over his chest and curled into him.

"Make up sex really is the best." He said before I playfully smacked his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow this took forever to get updated didnt it? i'msorry. I found this so hard to write for some reason, i actually started to write this the day i posted the last chapter and it took me three sittings to get through. Between school and writers block this took to long and i apologize. but finally here it is chapter 10.**

I sat on the toilet and prayed, prayed that it hadn't already been a week since me and John had found our way back into each other's arms again. The past few days had been so amazing, amazing up to a point…a small point that was dotted on my hanging wall calendar in red marker.

"Come on please!" I said clenching my stomach together and releasing again urging my body onward. But it was no use, it just wasn't coming. Not this month.

I was late, 5 days late to be exact. This couldn't be happening, I could not possibly be pregnant. I looked down between my legs again to the water beneath me but still no blood. For once I actually wanted my period.

Things just couldn't go down like this, not now. Besides the fact that I didn't want any children I knew that this baby couldn't be John's and the used condoms in my waist basket proved it.

"Babe you alright in there?" John called out to me. "You've been in there quite a while." You could hear the concern radiating from his voice. How could this be happening? How was I supposed to hurt him again? I was having a baby and one that wasn't his but his best friends no less. Things had just worked out and now another twist was worked into the intricate plot we called a life.

"I'll be right out." I managed to say, and I hoped that I didn't sound to concerned to him.

"Okay." He hollered back. "Because we have to be at the arena in like 15."

Great now I had to face Randy, I was sure he and Sam had worked things out and now he had to come face to face with this. But there was never a second thought about telling him, no matter how much I didn't want to. No, I had to tell him as soon as possible because the longer I kept things under wraps the worse they would get.

I stood up slowly and turned around, checking one last time for any signs of blood…but still there was nothing. I flushed and made my way back to the living room to where John was waiting, even though all I really wanted to do was lock myself in the washroom forever.

The car ride to the arena was brutal, the silence evident by even a deaf person. I didn't say anything, I couldn't really I was afraid if I opened my mouth that vomit would spew out. And the scarier part was that I wasn't sure if I felt sick because of the baby or if I was just so goddamn shit baked.

John was the one who broke the silence. "You ok babe? You've been all funny this morning." He said laying a hand on my knee.

I jumped at his touch. "I'm fine, well just feel a little sick."

"I hope it's nothing too serious…" John said continuing to rub his hand on my leg.

If only he knew how serious it was, I don't think he would be quite so… chipper.

"I'm sure I'll be fine." I said turning my head back towards the window and watched as we pulled into the stadium.

John parked the car and rounded the front of the hummer to the other side so he could open the door for me; I grabbed his hand and stepped out of the vehicle and onto the curb. He flicked the car keys to the valet and linked arms with me on our way inside.

My stomach was tangled in more knots then even a boy scouts camping trip had ever seen. I didn't want to crush him like this; I looked up at John and the look on his face read pure bliss. Together we were happy and now I knew that it was only a matter of time before the look he gave me was nothing but hate…how could he love me with a another man's child growing inside me.

We rounded another corner and god smacked me square in the jaw. There mingling backstage was Randy, with his lovely Samantha in tow. John shifted his weight on me, his signal of male dominance. He was about to make a strong left when Randy made his way over to us.

"Hey!" He said excitedly. "You guys look happy, I'm glad." He explained sincerely, sticking out a hand for John to shake, I was surprise when he accepted it shaking hands in forgiveness. Great, another thing I was about to shatter.

So things couldn't get any worse right? WRONG. It seems Samantha is either very bored or very protective as she made her way up behind Randy. "Oh John you've met Sam before…."

"Nice to see you again." John said to her shaking her hand. "The same to you." She replied. As they made awkward hellos I studied her and was surprised to see that she was, pardon me, nothing special. She was plain and small, with ugly brown hair. Some people might even describe her as mousey not the women that I expected Randy to be married to at all. She wasn't a bimbo and she didn't appear to be a gold digger, and as I noticed this I respected and believed in their marriage so much more…which made me feel that much worse.

"And Samantha, I'd like you to meet my other close friend Lita." Randy said. She smiled politely even though I knew that she wanted to punch me in the face, not that I blamed her, before she offered her manicured hand. I smiled back at her and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you." I said, ignoring the fact that we both knew that I had slept with her husband.

John must have felt the tension between us all and decided to break it up. "Well it was nice seeing you." He started playing with the brass ring on his index finger. "But I'm up first tonight so we really should be going, nice seeing you again." He said leading me off in the other direction. I calmly pulled away from him and told him I'd catch up with him after, he shot me a look before I made my way back to the happy couple.

"Randy do you mind if I talk to you alone for a second…"

"Well I don't want to leave her by herself." Randy said referencing his bride.

"Listen I know things are bad but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"Ok," He replied nodding to Sam and lead me over to a spot where we could speak in private. "Listen Lita you shouldn't have pulled me aside in front her, she's so uncomfortable around you already and now we needed to be alone? What's that all about? Are you trying to piss her off?"

"I don't know how to say this so I'm going to just come out with it…you remember that night…"

"I'm trying not to…"

I was so irritated that he was cutting me off I just blurted it out. "I'm pregnant!"

Randy's jaw dropped, he turned his head to look at Samantha before he looked back at me. "So is she."


	11. Chapter 11

**a long awaited update...sorry im so slow at getting this done but i think i have the final 4 chapters mapped out good now so with out further adue chapter 11 read and review please.**

The shock was enough to kill Ben Franklin on the other end of his fucking kite…Sam was pregnant to. I looked over Randy's shoulder, why hadn't I seen it before? She was simply glowing, pregnancy was good to her and I could only hope that it would be as good to me. What was I going to do? I didn't want a baby, family was something I never planned for and now I was finally back with John and I could feel him slipping away from me.

Randy must have been able to see the worry written all over my face and he reached out and touched my arm in an effort to comfort me. "It's going to be ok." He told me. I wanted to believe him but I didn't, once John found out about this baby I would be by myself once more. I just had to remember how to stand on my own again.

"What are we going to do Randy?" I asked him, speaking softly not to alarm his wife. "Should I keep the baby?"

He let go of my arm and just looked at me. "Of course you should keep it, as much as this was not supposed to happen I will always want my child."

I turned my back to him and laid my hands on my stomach. "Ever think that I don't want one."

"It's a child!" He said in an angry whisper, grabbing my arm. Randy calmed down and turned me around to face him. "Look." He started. "I know that this isn't what you wanted but have to realise that getting rid of that baby is selfish. We made a mistake but that baby doesn't deserve to suffer because of it."

I knew that he was right. The only thing that I ever did outside of the entertainment world that ever made me happy was my work at the shelter. Every week I saw cats and dogs get put down because nobody wanted them, how could I do that to my own child? "Your right." I said.

"Listen, you and me are going to get through this ok? I'm going to be there every step of the way…I'm going to take care of all the medical bills and we need to get you in for an appointment to get vitamins and things like that."

I moved my hands around his neck to bring him in for a hug. "Thank you!" I told him.

He hugged me tightly. "You're my best friend and I'd never abandon you…just one thing?" He said to me.

"Anything." I replied.

"Keep this between you and me for now? I'm assuming you haven't told John yet."

"I wanted you to know first."

"Good." He told me. "Because I don't want to spring this on Samantha just yet, the stress of her finding out about us was already hurtful to the pregnancy. It's not good for the baby if I tell her just yet."

I reluctantly agreed and took off to find John.

I opened the door to the locker room and poked my head inside; John was being his usual pre-match self, playing Nintendo on his sofa. "Hey." He said looking up at me. "I was beginning to think you got lost."

A nervous laugh escaped my lips which one then replaced with my finger as began to bite my nails. "Nope, I'm right here."

"Good." John replied as I sat down beside him. "Because I wouldn't want to have to send out a search party out or anything."

I felt his arm move around my shoulder as I spoke. "I just had to make sure that Samantha was ok, I mean I didn't want what happened coming between her and Randy's relationship. I just felt really bad ya know?"

He kissed the top of her head. "You're an amazing person…" He started.

"I wouldn't say that," Was my reply. I was lying through my teeth, and he didn't even know.

"No, you really are. Most people wouldn't look back, they couldn't face the person after something like that and now here you are concerned for his wife."

I hung my head, I hated when he thought the best of me. He really should think the worst…I hated how cool he was with everything because it made it that much harder to lie to him. Well keep the truth away from him, it's not like he asked if I was pregnant. I know I know I'm trying to justify things but I wouldn't have to if he were a normal grudge holding human being.

My head fell on his shoulder, I didn't want to loose that amazing soul either. He was everything good about the male race and telling him would crush him, I just knew it. I couldn't expect him to forgive me for having another mans baby, sleeping with Randy was one thing…we weren't together, but how could he handle another mans child running around.

He disturbed my thought when he moved; gently making my head come off his shoulder. "I better go." John said. "My match is really soon."

Oh god he was fighting Randy, I'd almost forgot. I hoped that things really were cool between them because I didn't want anything besides business happening inside the squared circle. If they decided to take out their frustrations someone was bound to get hurt. "Ok, good luck and be careful." I told him as he leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.

"I always am," He told me. "I'll see you after the match…how about I get cleaned up and you put on something special and we just go somewhere later? How's that sound?"

"Fine." I told him, what else could I say. I had to act like nothing was wrong or else he would know that something was wrong. Completely wrong, horribly wrong…terribly wrong. I just smiled and kissed him gently poring all the love I had for him into it. I didn't want to ever have to let him go, it killed me the first time and now once all this was said and done it would hurt even more the second time.

"I love you." He said, making his way out the door. Why did it hurt so much to hear him say that?


	12. Chapter 12

**Almost done here folks...read and review please? I love hearing anything you have to say...means alot to me and makes me update**

I left the locker room shortly after, I couldn't just sit around I had to get out of that room to breath. Having no idea what he had running through his head didn't help my anxiety either, I grabbed my car keys and made my way to the parking garage. When I finally found my car I just sat there in the drivers seat for what seemed like hours before I actually started it up. Resting my head on the wheel I tried to relax, I couldn't let John know that I was upset. I just had to try and pretend that nothing was wrong and attempt to be happy throughout whatever surprise he had planned for me.

My hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road I just drove, I just let the drive consume me. It was a good way to clear my head and prepare myself for our date; after all it could be the last one. I didn't know how long Randy expected me to keep things from John but I did know that I couldn't do it much longer. It was tearing me up inside, especially when I knew that he would be thrilled to have a child but he knew that it wasn't the life I wanted. How could he not hate me when he finds out that I'm having a family without him? He was my family, hell he was my world and now I could loose it all in the blink of an eye. How many times had it crossed my mind to just terminate the pregnancy and do my best to put it behind me? But I couldn't do that to myself or Randy, he wanted the baby and I couldn't hurt a fly.

After I felt I had sufficiently driven in circles around town long enough I stopped into the hotel to grab my red dress, I slipped it into a plastic bag and brought it downstairs before I threw it in threw it in the trunk of the car. I had one more stop to make before I went back the arena to get ready. Turning the corner I saw the glowing neon sign that let me know I had found what I was looking for, a pharmacy. I made it in and out very quickly, stuffing the pill bottle into my bag in the backseat. Pre-natal vitamins, Randy said that I needed them but I didn't want to see any doctors just yet. The sooner I saw a doctor the sooner this leaked to the dirt sheets and I couldn't let that happen before John found out. No, that couldn't happen. I would just have to take care of myself until I got the ok to fill John in and beg him not to hate me. Because that was all I could really ask for, for him not to hate me…anything else would be selfish, I couldn't expect him to stay.

I got back to the arena pretty quick, I quietly slipped back into his dressing room and when I had gotten changed proceeded to do my hair and make up. "Hey baby." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist, I smiled and nusseled my head into his neck. I felt so safe and comforted when he held me; it was a feeling I never wanted to give up. "I won my match against Orton." John said into my ear. Dropping the curler in my hand I turned around to kiss him, I wanted every moment we had left to be special. John reached into his back pocket and pulled out a black piece of cloth before he waved it in the air. "Jonathan Felix Anthony Cena, what the hell is that for?" He smirked and proceeded to tie it around my head. "It's so you can't see where it is that I'm taking you." He replied leading me out of the locker room, now completely blindfolded.

He guided me along a hallway and then another before we took 3 staircases. "Where are we going?" I asked him feeling around to try and find out for myself. "Shhhh." He said untying the scarf, "we're here." The blindfold fell off my face to reveal a candle light dinner, complete with roses and fancy silverware, on the roof of the building. I started to tear up, I didn't deserve all this. "John…" I started, but he wouldn't allow me to finish. "Don't say anything," He said. "Unless it's I love you." Turning into him I smiled and placed my lips on his. "I love you." I told him. Tonight would probably be one of the last nights I got to spend with him, so I had to put on a happy face and make the best of what I had left.

He was being such a gentleman, pulling out my chair and serving me my meal before he even sat down…he always was like that and it was times like this that I wished he was an asshole. If I hated him, things would be so easy. The dinner was delicious, he had cooked up some of my favourite things; I smiled at the fact that he remembered my love of steamed tofu and broccoli. He himself opted for something at little more conventional, steak. It took us forever to eat, he would stop every few minutes to smile and hold my hand, and I would just watch him…trying my best to memorize every detail. I watched how many times he chewed before he swallowed, the way he scrunched up his nose when he drank…bringing out little lines in his forehead. And I especially tried to take a mental picture of when he smiled at me; the way his eyes sparkled and his dimples took over his face. I didn't know how I was going to keep myself from crying; I knew that once all this got out he would never look at me like that again.

"Finished?" He asked, I nodded and took my plate and his before replacing them with dessert…German chocolate cake. Another favourite that he remembered, sometimes it felt as though he knew more about me than anyone I'd ever known. "You look upset." He said, penetrated my thoughts again. "…Just take a bite, I swear its heaven." Trying my best to push my sadness to the back of my mind, I stuck my fork down into the cake. Putting a piece in my mouth it melted on my tongue except for something hard, my first thought way that it was a nut but it felt massive. When I put my finger on my tongue to pull it out, I found a ring… "Don't say anything, not yet…" John said before puling out his chair and crouching down beside me. "Listen I know that you said you didn't want to get married, but I love you and I think that we should just do it…we could just go away together. Being married doesn't mean that we have to have kids, and it doesn't mean that I control you, no one could do that." He said with a laugh, I was about to open my mouth when he placed a finger to my lips to silence me. "Lita, I still don't know why you left in the first place…" I once again tried to talk, "Shhhh, it doesn't matter anymore…in fact I don't even want to know why. Because baby I love you and that's all that matters…"

Looking down at him, his eyes wide and his heart on his sleeve I felt as though the organ in my chest had stopped beating. I wanted nothing more then to throw my arms around him, kiss him all over and scream, "yes" from this rooftop…but I couldn't. He didn't deserve all this garbage. I held his face in my hands and looked him in the eyes, trying my best to show him that I really did love him. "I can't." I finally said. "I just can't, I want to but I just can't John. I don't deserve all this, I don't deserve your romantic dinners and fancy proposals, I don't deserve to be your wife, I don't deserve your love and most of all I don't deserve you." I said, before I ran off…tears streaming down my face. I couldn't do it to him; I couldn't accept what I should have never been offered. I was garbage and he was a diamond…you don't find jewellery at a dumpsite.


	13. Chapter 13

**Final chapter, initially thought i could drag this out more but i couldnt do a whole chapter of her thinking so here is the last peice of this messed up fic lol read and review**

Barrelling down the 401 I didn't care if it took me all night I was going to drive to Connecticut. Since I left John on that rooftop I'd been calling wwe offices non-stop but nobody would help me. It didn't matter to me if the whole world thought I was a coward I had to get away, I needed out of my contract. I didn't think it would take much to convince Vince, after all I'd already missed numerous appearances and I don't think he needs a pregnant diva around.

No matter how much I loved this business I couldn't face John again, not after what I'd done to him. Leaving now was best for everyone, I'd tell Randy to tell him when he thought it was right. It wasn't fair to leave that burden on him but I knew that he understood why I couldn't and he would.

Deciding to give it one last shot I reached for my phone to call Stanford again. But when I grabbed it it slipped from my fingers and fell back to the seat, I turned to pick it up and when I looked back all I saw was a bright light.

When I woke up it felt like my head was about to explode, I sat up quick and felt a sharp pain shoot down my back. Falling back on the hard service I suddenly remembered I had been driving. "Where's my car?" I said aloud and then I heard someone move to my side. I looked over and saw John sitting there with tears in his eyes.

"Your awake." He breathed out, reaching for my hand.

"My car?" I repeated before a different voice appeared.

"You've been in an accident Lits, a car came out of the other lane and hit you head on."

I look around and realise I'm in a hospital; the white walls, hard mattress and hospital corners to proved it. Instantly I placed the voice that had just spoken and I look over to see Randy leaning against the wall, worry spread across his face. Then I remembered why he must be so worried, "The baby" I mouth to him before I look back at John. When I saw the look on his face I knew that he knew.

"I had to tell him." Randy said, realising that I had figured it all out. "He wanted to know why I insisted to be here."

"John I wanted to tell you…" I started before he cut me off.

He put his finger to my lips. "Randy told me that he made you promise not to for Samantha's sake."

"Then do you understand why I had to say no? I couldn't hurt you anymore John, I couldn't marry you under the circumstances." I said to him, looking away. "I understand that you want nothing to do with me."

John moves his hand to my jaw, turning my face back towards his. "You should have just told me, I understand about Samantha but I would have forgiven you and waited with you guys to tell her."

"I can't expect you to raise another man's child, I don't deserve your forgiveness."

He speaks again. "Don't talk like that, this is just as much my fault as it is yours. I drove you to another man, and I'm so sorry for that. Candice was nothing but a mistake and a façade; I was just trying to get over you. But I couldn't Lita, because I love you and I'll always love you." Tears fell from my eyes and he gently thumbed them away as he continued. "We're all human, and we all make mistakes. I do and so do you, but the bottom line is that love can concur all that, as corny as it sounds. I love you and nothing and no one is ever going to change that."

The doctor entering the room quickly interrupted the moment. "Ah, the nurses said you were awake, well everything is looking well Ms. Dumas, no sign of internal damage. Just a couple of cuts and bruises, you were lucky somebody up there likes you."

Pushing myself up I laid a hand to my stomach. "So the baby's ok?" I questioned.

Puzzled the middle-aged man spoke, "Baby?"

"Yes sir, is my baby ok?" Randy asked laying a hand on the man's shoulder.

When the doctor didn't speak my head fell, "I lost it didn't I?" My heart was breaking, I didn't want a child but I couldn't handle the fact that my own stupidity had killed something so innocent. What was I thinking reaching for my phone while driving? How was I going to live with myself? I ruined everything good in my life it was me who deserved to die in that accident not a tiny baby.

The man in the white coat flipped through the clipboard in his hands, "Mame I have no record of you being pregnant. The x-rays show no sign of a child, you weren't pregnant."

"Yes I was, I didn't have my period." I shot back.

"Have you been under a lot of stress?" He asked laying down his notes and sitting on the end of my hospital bed.

That was a understatement, over the past few months I'd come back to wrestling, found out the man I loved had a new girlfriend, that she was his fiancé, slept with my best friend who was married, my past love found out about it, fought with him and somehow had gotten back together. Stress wasn't the word in this crazy soap opera I called life. I nodded at him. "You could say that."

"Well stress can often cause a stoppage in your menstrual flow."

I was completely shocked; "You mean I've gone through all this for nothing?" John's hand found mine, and I could feel the relief in his touch.

The doctor chuckled, "I don't know exactly what you mean but I can assure you that you aren't nor were you pregnant." With that he left the room.

My eyes found Randy's, "I'm so sorry."

My friend moved to my side and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "It's ok, I would have loved our baby but I'm glad that it's all over...for Sam. She forgave me for us and now we can be a family with our baby."

Smiling at him I pulled him down to hug him. "Thank you." I told him, squeezing him as tight as I could without hurting myself. He hurried from the room, probably back to an awaiting Sam who was wondering why he left in the middle of the night.

I turned my attention back to a happy John, "You know if your upset you weren't pregnant we could always get to work on a new one."

Placing my hand on the side of his face I leaned in and kissed him with everything I had. For once everything seemed perfect, "You still got that ring?"

**The end- please dont kill me, i really dont want anyone thinking i rushed the end or made her not pregnat to cut it off. she was never pregant thats why i didnt have her do a home test or see a doctor. it was all key. hope you enjoyed this like i did, thanks for my loyal readers who stuck with me throught the writers block here lol hope it was worth it**


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